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Rating 1
Directed by Tibor Takács
Written by Peter Mohan
Starring Michael Trucco (Colonel Tom Young), Kari Matchett (Dr Michelle Young), Kirsten Prout (Kara Young), Brett Dier (Jason Young), Eric Johnson (Kyle Pember), Lara Gilchrist (Lena), Emily Holmes (Laura), Travis Nelson (Brad), Kevein McNulty (General Brock) and Viv Leacock (Colonel Jack Clancey)
San Francisco prepares for what should be a spectacular meteor shower speeding across the night sky. Astro-physicist Dr Michelle Young is angry when her estranged husband Tom forgets to collect their two teenage children, Kara and Jason, to bring them to see the display. However, instead of the spectacular display everyone was expecting, this is the first of a series of deadly meteor storms that threatens to destroy San Francisco and wipe out the population. Michelle and Tom have to put their difference aside to work with the US Military to find a solution – and rescue their kids.
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I am not a regular viewer of the Sci-Fi Channel, but I have watched enough “SyFy” movies to know exactly what to expect and yet I still cannot stop myself from hoping that the next one I watch will not be as laughably bad as the last one. So it was with ‘Meteor Storm’, which I watched because it stars Kari Matchett. This isn’t the worst example I have seen, but it was just a jumble of ridiculous clichés and pseudo-scientific mumbo-jumbo.
Michael Trucco, who starred in ‘Battlestar Gallactica, which I have never seen a single episode of, is the all-action hero here. We know this because he wears a leather jacket and rides around on a Harley. When he is not riding the Harley he is driving around in a Hummer. He rescues a pregnant woman from an overturned vehicle just seconds before it blows up. He rescues his wife from a downed helicopter – just seconds before it blows up. He rescues his children, who are trapped in an elevator, and his daughter’s boyfriend, who is sick and trapped in an apartment, just moments before the entire building collapses. However, to show that he’s only human, he fails to save his wife’s sister, who is driving across the Golden Gate Bridge when it is hit and destroyed by a meteor storm. As it happens, something that is conveniently overlooked, she would probably have safely got to the other side had it not been for Michelle calling her on her cell-phone while she was driving and screaming at her to get off the bridge, something that caused her to crash.
I cannot be too critical because it is not as if I do not know exactly what to expect when I watch these things, but ‘Meteor Storm’ leaves no cliché overlooked and has no sense of humour to alleviate the grimness of it all. It’s competently made, but wholly unimaginative.
Review posted 12 April 2010
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Rating 2½
Directed by Craig Pryce
Written by Rod Spence
Starring Catherine Bell (Cassandra Nightingale), Chris Potter (Sheriff Jake Russell), Catherine Disher (Martha Tinsdale), Peter MacNeill (George O’Hanrahan), Matthew Knight (Brandon Russell), Hannah Endicott-Douglas (Lori Russell), Noah Cappe (Deputy Derek Sanders), Allan Royal (Bill Cobb), Paul Miller (Mayor Tom Tinsdale), Paula Boudreau (Nancy Perkins), Murray Oliver (Bill Perkins) and Jesse Bostick (Kyle)
Cassandra Nightingale causes much talk in the small town of Middleton when she moves into the Gray House, an old abandoned house that is said to be haunted. She makes an immediate impression on the townsfolk who encounter her, especially the local Sheriff and his two young children, but she is soon accused of being a witch
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‘The Good Witch’ was made for the Hallmark Channel and on its first broadcast in January 2008 was the second highest audience rated original movie ever shown on the channel up to that point. The plot is tissue-thin and it does borrow heavily from earlier films. The local store Cassandra opens, for example, is called Bell, Book and Candle, the name of the store owned by Kim Novak’s character in the 1958 film of the same name.
Small town America is invariably presented in films, particularly made-for-television films, as an ideal and that is the case here. Each and every obstacle encountered is resolved in the most superficial of ways. Brandon Russell, the young son of the Sheriff, deals with a bully on the advice of Cassandra by befriending him and then introducing him to his father, who is able with a minimum of effort to solve the problem of the boy’s troublesome home life and violent single parent. It’s saccharine and overly sentimental, but it’s also sweet-natured, easy to watch and rather heart warming if approached with an absence of cynicism.
Life is not like this, even if the prejudice of Martha Tinsdale, who instigates the witch-hunt against Cassandra, does have a genuine touch of nastiness about it. In the end, though, I rather enjoyed it.
A successful sequel, ‘The Good Witch’s Garden’, followed in February 2009 and apparently a third film, ‘The Good Witch’s Wedding’, is coming.
Review posted 14 February 2010
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WARNING: This review contains spoilers if you have not watched ‘The Capture of the Green River Killer’.
Rating 2½
Directed by Norma Bailey
Written by John Pielmeier
Adapted by John Pielmeier from the book ‘Chasing the Devil: My Twenty-Year Quest to Capture the Green River Killer’ by Dave Reichert
Starring Thomas Cavanagh (Dave Reichert), Amy Davidson (Helen ‘Hel’ Remus), Jessica Harmon (Natalie ‘Nat’ Webley), John Pielmeier (Gary Ridgway), James Russo (Jeb Dallas), John Fasano (Joe Jakes), Sharon Lawrence (Fiona Remus), Ingrid Rogers (Faye Brooks), Currie Graham (Captain Norwell), Zak Santiago (Seth Imperia), Christina Lindley (Lynn Mosey) and James Marsters (Ted Bundy)
Detective Dave Reichert is put in charge of a Task Force assigned to track down a serial killer who is targeting young women, mainly prostitutes, in King County, Washington, and who dumps most of the bodies in or near to the Green River. The case becomes an obsession for Reichert over the next nineteen years, as the killings continue and his investigations leads him up a succession of dead ends.
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‘The Capture of the Green River Killer’ is based on the serial killer Gary Ridgway, who carried out his first killing in 1982 but was not captured until 2001, by which time he had killed at least 48 women, many of them just teenagers as young as 16 years old. He claims to have killed 71 women and some people think the total is even higher than that. Dave Reichert was a leading member of the Task Force formed to track down the “Green River Killer”. In 1997 he was appointed Sheriff of King County and subsequently has become a member of the United States Congress.
The film, which was made for the Lifetime Movie Network, has a running time close to three hours and was shown in two parts. It is based on a book written by Dave Reichert about the case. How closely the film adheres to the book and how closely the book adheres to the events of the long investigation I do not know. The film does not, for example, directly refer to Robert D Keppel, who as well as working on the investigation into the Green River killings, was also involved in the investigation that led to the arrest of another notorious serial killer, Ted Bundy. It was Keppel who interviewed Bundy in prison as part of the Green River investigation. In the film Bundy is interviewed by Reichert and an FBI profiler known as ‘Seth Imperia’, whose inaccurate profile of the killer is given as one of the reasons why it took so long to finally apprehend Ridgway, who was actually first interviewed in connection with the case as far back as 1983. Keppel has stated in interviews that the FBI profiles were not, in his opinion, damaging to the case.
Ted Bundy, played uneventfully by James Marsters, makes a cameo appearance in the film, which is largely concerned with Reichert’s investigation and his obsession with the case, and with two fictional characters, Helen ‘Hel’ Remus and Natalie ‘Nat’ Webley. This is where the film starts to unravel a little bit. These characters are used to give the film an extra emotional layer and to show how women as young as sixteen could have ended up working as prostitutes and become victims of Gary Ridgway. This is fine, but Helen Remus, who acts as a narrator throughout the film, is portrayed as a probable victim of the killer and comes back as a ghost presence to haunt the investigation. That doesn’t work particularly well for me.
The progress of the investigation is generally done very well, because it is portrayed as being very mundane. Mistakes are made, the investigation constantly ends up hitting a brick wall, and there are no heroics. The film does become seriously overwrought in the last half-an-hour or so as Reichert utilises advances in DNA forensics to finally establish evidence linking Ridgeway to the crimes, but the film does seem to have a genuine desire to make it clear that none of the victims deserved to die, something it makes a point of emphasising at various junctures during the three hours.
Although it certainly has its flaws, I am glad I watched this film.
I recognised Thomas Cavanagh from ‘Scrubs’, but I guess American audiences would perhaps associate him more closely with the television comedy-drama ‘Ed’. Amy Davidson was previously one of the lead cast of the sitcom ‘8 Simple Rules’. Gary Ridgway is played by John Pielmeier, who also adapted Dave Reichert’s book and wrote the screenplay.
The film (or miniseries, as it seems to be referred to) was watched by two million viewers when it was shown on Lifetime television in March 2008, a new audience record for the network
Review posted 2 February 2010
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Rating 2¼
Directed by Stephen Bridgewater
Written by Nathan Atkins
Starring Holly Marie Combs (Kathy Alden), Roark Critchlow (Richard Alden), Patrick Muldoon (Caleb Theroux), Richard Roundtree (Detective Miles Porter), Traci Lords (Brianna Fine), Max Burkholder (Sam Alden), Ella Thomas (Monique), Ronald Hunter (Captain Schell) and Deren LeRoy (Juan)
When she is attacked in her own home, Kathy Alden moves with her husband and young son to a new house in a gated community with round-the-clock security. They quickly become acquainted with their neighbour Caleb Theroux and Kathy begins work to restore an old antique wardrobe for him. In the meanwhile, veteran police detective Miles Porter takes early retirement so that he can continue to pursue his obsessive investigation into the unsolved murder of his goddaughter.
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‘Point of Entry’, which is also known as ‘Panic Button’, premiered on the Lifetime Television Network in 2007. It looks like a television movie, plays like a television movie and conforms to the comforting levels of predictability that are expected of a television movie. Richard Roundtree’s role in the film as the retired police detective still trying to crack the unsolved murder of his goddaughter ultimately lead nowhere very much, but Patrick Muldoon (‘Melrose Place’) is suitably creepy as the seemingly innocuous and friendly neighbour and Holly Marie Combs (‘Picket Fences’, ‘Charmed’) does her patented Holly Marie Combs thing. She is nothing if not likeable.
Anyone who is even vaguely familiar with the Lifetime oeuvre will know exactly what to expect.
Review posted 2 November 2009
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Rating 1½
Directed by Leigh Scott
Written by Tony Daniel and Brian D Smith
Starring Clare Carey (Dr Jacqueline Hale), Lance Guest (Garrett), Sarah Butler (Eva), Jonathon Trent (Johnson), Rebekah Kochan (Lola), Bill Posley (Derrick), Brent Lydic (Gordon), Gabriel Costin (Porky), Calin Stanciu (Hank), Tarri Markell (Dr Giovanna Thomas), Serban Celea (Oscar Drake) and Bart Sidles (Counsellor)
Dr Jacqueline Hale diagnoses what she believes is a case of avian flu, the first case detected in North America, and shares her findings with Garrett, the local Park Ranger. In a remote area of forest, a group of teenagers from a juvenile remand facility, out there on a group-building exercise, are menaced by deadly bird-like creatures. A Government biological containment agency gets involved, intent on containing the threat using military means, and it becomes a race against time to rescue the survivors.
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‘Flu Bird Horror’, which is also known as ‘Flu Birds’, caught my attention in the first place because of the title and then I noticed Clare Carey’s name amongst the cast list. She was one of the cast of the short-lived ‘Point Pleasant’, probably my favourite television series of the last five years, and ‘Jericho’. It was for this reason alone that I watched it.
I assumed this ludicrous film was going to be about the wildfire spread of a bird virus and the desperate efforts to contain the pandemic. To a certain degree, that is what happens, but more than that it is a nonsensical horror film about a bunch of thoroughly dislikeable teenagers being picked off one by one by a prehistoric-looking airborne monster – complete with a Government agent who appears to be the bad-guy from a Steven Seagal film. There is virtually no attempt to explain anything that happens and the plot is laughable. It would be unfair to say there are holes in the plot – the whole thing is just one gigantic chasm of preposterous absurdity. It is, in fact, a typical Sci-Fi Channel movie and the less said about some of the acting the better.
Some parts are actually quite effective and all in all I cannot deny quite enjoying the film on some level or other, although I do not intend this to be a recommendation. Anyone familiar with typical Sci-Fi Channel fare will know what to expect.
Review posted 29 August 2009
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Rating 1¾
Directed by Farhad Mann
Written by Steven A Finly
Starring Emma Caulfield (Kate Nolan), David Orth (Bobby Nolan), Matreya Fedor (Emma Nolan), Daryl Shuttleworth (Detective Garcey), Jody Thompson (Gina Byrnes), Tracy Waterhouse (Janet Cuccini), Adrien Dorval (Lucas Portwell ) and Mackenzie Gray (Carl Brookes)
Kate Nolan learns that her estranged father, who she has not seen for many years, has died, leaving her a fortune worth eleven million dollars. He had also bought a large house for her, which he was in the process of renovating when he died. Kate moves into the house with her daughter Emma and husband Bobby, but soon she is having a serious of disturbing dreams and visions, suggesting a repeat of the breakdown she suffered when her first husband, Emma’s father, died three years earlier. Her fragile state of mind is further compromised when she accuses her dead father of committing several murders in the house and becomes the focus of the police investigation into the alleged crimes.
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‘In Her Mother’s Footsteps’, which is also known as ‘Deadly Inheritance’, is a 2006 psychological horror mystery film made for the Lifetime Movie Network. The story covers very well worn ground and is told in an instantly familiar style. There is nothing here that has not been done many times before. The narrative is somewhat unfocused and both the screenplay and the direction would have benefited from being sharper. The twists and deceptions in the story are not particularly accomplished and the dénouement, if given too much thought, is silly and implausible.
Having expressed these criticisms, the film has the merits typical of Lifetime productions. It is easy and enjoyable to watch, avoids the pandering and nastiness that blights some horror films and psychological thrillers made for cinema or DVD release, and boasts a competent and watchable cast. The lead role is taken by the likeable Emma Caulfield, who was memorable in the role of Anya in seasons three through to seven of Joss Whedon’s acclaimed television series ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’. She was also excellent in the under-appreciated 2003 horror film ‘Darkness Falls’.
You know what you are going to get with a Lifetime film and there are rarely if ever any surprises in store. As such, potential viewers are likely to already know if ‘In Her Mother’s Footsteps’ would be for them. I make no great claims for it, but I wanted to watch it and I am glad to have had the opportunity to do so.
Review posted 23 August 2009
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Rating 2¼
Directed by Peter Werner
Written by Joyce Eliason, based on a Reader’s Digest article written by Rena Dictor Le Blanc
Starring Kristen Bell (Gracie Thompson), Anne Heche (Rowena Lawson), Diane Ladd (Louela Lawson), Kristin Fairlie (Rose Carlton), Brian Atkins (Ryan Walker), David Gibson McLean (Jonny Blicker), Jack Armstrong (Robbie Locascio), Shedrack Anderson III (Tommy) and Sandra Caldwell (Mrs Thurston)
17-year-old Gracie Thompson lives with her self-destructive mother Rowena Lawson, her younger half-sister Rose and her younger half-brothers Brian, Jonny and Robbie. Each one has a different father, all of them absent. Rowena drinks, uses drugs, repeatedly hooks up with deadbeat boyfriends and the family are constantly moving from place to place, on the run from landlords, debt collectors and the police. When Rowena is caught and sent to jail, the children end up in juvenile facilities until they are rescued by their grandmother Louela. However, after Rose gets pregnant and moves in with the father, seemingly starting out down the same path as her mother, and Rowena turns up again, Gracie takes matters into her own hands and fights to be allowed to legally adopt her three half-brothers.
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‘Gracie’s Choice’ is a television movie made for the Lifetime Television channel and adheres closely to the tried and tested Lifetime formula. The story is based on an article that first appeared in Reader’s Digest in 2000 and told the story of a teenager called Amy who was given custody of three younger brothers. Although the story is initially presented with some small degree of authenticity, albeit decidedly sanitised, it does become increasingly saccharine and less believable, and as such less rewarding, even if it is based on true events.
Kristen Bell is a very competent actress, but I am not altogether convinced that her portrayal here or the character she plays is entirely successful. On occasions it is too easy to forget the hell that Gracie’s life has been up to now. On the other hand, Anne Heche is very good a portraying “crazy” and her character Rowena is the mother from hell, entirely self-absorbed and hell bent on self-destruction, although she does not necessarily deliberately set out to hurt her children. She is simply woefully and dangerously unfit to be responsible for them. Heche, who was nominated for an Emmy for her performance, claimed to have based it on her own experiences growing up.
Brian Atkins, in the role of Brian, the oldest of the three brothers, is quite effective in portraying Brian’s barely repressed anger. He suffers from attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, as do the two younger brothers.
The film means well and does have merit. It is reasonably effective, up to a point. However, to be entirely successful and satisfactory it really needed to be less sanitised than this, although it is conforming to the Lifetime brand. All in all, though, this is a decent and decently acted made-for-television true story and its potential audience will already know what to expect.
Review posted 9 July 2009
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Rating 2¾
Directed by Bryan Goeres
Written by Dan Dworkin and Jay Beattie
Starring Armand Assante (Kevin), Lacey Chabert (Jane), Dina Meyer (Mira), David Selvas (Hugo), Ferran Lahoz (Gil), Sergi Mateu (Molina), Ricard Sales (Alex), Jorge Bosch (Delgado), Miquel Gelabert (Alonso) and Toby Harper (Barry)
Kevin, once a practicing psychoanalyst, now a successful writer, is approached by Mira in New York during a book tour to promote his latest book. At first she asks for his autograph, but then she tells him she is the older sister of Jane and that his diagnosis of her sister’s condition three years earlier during a high profile criminal trial in Spain had condemned her to spend the rest of her life in an institution, drugged to a permanent near-comatose state. Mira claims that it was the wrong diagnosis and threatens to expose his mistake in the newspapers. Kevin reluctantly agrees to reassess Jane’s condition, travelling back to Spain, and as he learns more about her split personalities he becomes ensnared in a web of intrigue.
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‘The Lost’ (or ‘Perduts’, to give the film its Catalan title) is a made-for-television film, first released at the beginning of 2009. It was made by the Barcelona based Drimtim Entertainment production company, which specialises in product that has appeal in the American market. It is not exactly a horror film, although it might be marketed as such. More accurately, it is a psychological thriller. There are no scares as such and certainly no blood and gore.
The premise that takes Kevin back to Spain to reassess Jane is daft in the extreme and the twisty ending is equally outlandish. The film follows a tried and tested formula that is very familiar, but all in all it is really rather well done and enjoyable, with decent performances all round by an experienced and very competent cast.
The writers Dan Dworkin and Jay Beattie are an experienced team, having also worked together on numerous American television series, including ‘Cold Case’, ‘Criminal Minds’, ‘Surface’ and ‘Vanished’. Director Bryan Goeres has direcetd several other films for Drimtim.
Review posted 26 April 2009
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Rating 3
Directed by Jeff Bleckner
Written by Jill E Blotevogal
Starring Amber Tamblyn (Sarah Russell), Jennifer Ehle (Lorainne Morrissey), Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio (Gayle Russell), Paul Wesley (Evan Carroll), Henry Czerny (Howard Morrissey), Tim DeKay (Tim Russell), Daniel Clark (Daniel Russell), Ben Lewis (Jon Morrissey) and Max Morrow (Rick Morrissey)
Sarah Russell, who is working and living in Chicago while she waits to hear the outcome of her application to study medicine, learns that she is suffering from an aggressive form of leukaemia. She returns home to the sleepy town where she grew up, but on arrival she discovers that her application has been successful and her parents Gayle and Tim have just received the news. They think she has come home to tell them this, treating her arrival as a cause for celebration, and she keeps her illness secret from them.
She still feels guilt following the death of the young daughter of Lorainne and Howard Morrissey, who live across the street, some six years previously. The death occurred while she was babysitting and she questions whether or not her illness is karma for what happened. The death destroyed her relationship with her former boyfriend Evan Carroll, who has also recently returned to town to care for his sick father, and, so her father believes, created an invisible barrier that has prevented the family from communicating properly ever since.
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‘The Russell Girl’ is a Hallmark Hall of Fame made-for-television film that was first broadcast in January 2008. It follows a pattern familiar from previous Hallmark films, incorporating the well-worn themes of serious illness, secrets hidden, recrimination, forgiveness and salvation. In its favour, the film is expertly handled and the acting is excellent, particularly the performances of Amber Tamblyn and Jennifer Ehle, whose characters largely carry the story.
On the downside, the progression of the story is predictable and rather too glib, presenting a chocolate-box version of small-town America and offering a resolution that is too neat and too easily reached. More so, the depiction of Sarah’s illness suggests that she is suffering from little more than a severe head cold; cancer still being an illness that we seem to shy away from really wanting to confront or understand.
This is, in many ways, all the more puzzling when one considers that the main theme of this film is the failure of the various characters to communicate, while the film itself somewhat fails to communicate the seriousness of the illness, apparently deciding that the word “leukaemia” itself will be enough to convey this. As it transpires, since Sarah is clearly in denial about the seriousness of her illness, this partially ends up working in the film’s favour in a round-a-bout way, but it could perhaps have benefitted from more to highlight the seriousness of the condition and what Sarah faces because of it.
The film does conform to a long established formula, but that should certainly not take away from its many merits. After all, it has a very specific target audience in mind. Despite my criticisms, I enjoyed it immensely.
Review posted 20 April 2009
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Rating 3½
Directed by Narciso Ibáñez Serrador
Written by Narciso Ibáñez Serrador, based on a story by Luis Murillo
Starring Montse Mostaza, Nieve de Medina, Alejandra Lorenzo, Elena de Frutos and Mariana Cordero
Gloria is a single mother working at the same hospital as gynaecologist Ana Torres. To ease her financial worries, she accepts an offer to go with her young daughter Vicky (Alejandra Lorenzo) to live with Ana, also taking on the responsibility as receptionist and assistant at Ana’s evening practice in the house. Once there, Gloria discovers that Ana is conducting abortions and is persuaded to assist with these. Ana also seems to have feelings towards her, something Gloria tries to resist. When Gloria becomes pregnant, an angry Ana persuades her to have an abortion, following which strange things begin to occur in the old house.
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‘Películas para no dormir’ (Films To Keep You Awake) was a series of six films made for Spanish television in 2006 and based on a Spanish television series called ‘Historias para no dormir’ (Tales To Keep You Awake), which was originally broadcast between 1966 and 1968. Narciso Ibáñez Serrador, who directed ‘La culpa’ (‘Blame’), wrote and directed the original television series, as well as introducing each episode in the style of ‘Alfred Hitchcock Presents’.
‘La culpa’ might be a rather unsubtle commentary on abortion, although Ana’s motivation is always left open to interpretation, and it treads well worn ground. However, it tells its story very well and with a minimum of unnecessary trimmings, using the tried and tested old creepy house setting, including locked doors, a dusty attic full of children’s toys, and strange noises.
The whole series of films is recommended.
Review posted 30 March 2009
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Rating 1
Directed by Tim Cox
Written by Tim Cox, Brian Durham and Sean Keller, from a story by Don Guarisco
Starring Vincent Ventresca, Summer Glau, Tom Skerritt, Cole Williams, Leila Arcieri, Charles Carroll, Mark Irvingsen, David Kellaway and Marcus Lyle Brown
A meteorite carrying an alien life-form crashes into a museum and brings a frozen mammoth back to life, now controlled by the alien organism.
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This 2006 film was made for the Sci-Fi Channel and is typical of such productions. It is probably of most note because the cast includes the always reliable veteran actor Tom Skerritt and Summer Glau, who is best known for her roles in the television shows ‘Firefly’ and ‘Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles’. Although she has received very good reviews in both cases, I must admit that I am not overly fond of her acting and the same applies here.
The 25-year-old Glau rather unconvincingly plays a 16-year-old, but to be fair to her, this is a dreadful film that cannot seem to decide what it wants to be. It’s an entirely unsuccessful mix of comedy that is never funny, sci-fi that is so badly botched as to be embarrassing, and witless monster movie. I found the performance of Vincent Ventresca in the lead role as Dr Frank Abernathy, the palaeontologist father of Summer Glau’s character, utterly inexplicable, but like the other actors, he is hamstrung by a dreadful screenplay and, from my admittedly inexpert position, inept direction.
‘Mammoth’ seems to be going for the same kind of affectionate/humorous approach as the films ‘Evolution’ and ‘Slither’, but it fails on all levels. It won an Emmy for Outstanding Special Effects.
Review posted 21 March 2009
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Rating 2½
Directed by William Fruet
Written by Christine Gallagher
Starring Dina Meyer, Rick Ravanello, Cassandra Sawtell, Kurt Evans, Kay Vance, Bronwen Smith, Nancy Sivak, Jim Shepard and Nicole Muñoz
Suzanne (Dina Meyer), an illustrator for a publishing house, moves to a sleepy community with her husband of one year, Michael (Rick Ravanello), and seven-year-old step-daughter Molly (Cassandra Sawtell). Michael has been sent there to manage a local logging mill, which is experiencing financial problems and is in danger of closing. The workforce does not trust the new owners and they treat him with suspicion. Molly, who is still coming to terms with the death of her mother, invents an imaginary friend called Candace. Following a series of disquieting incidents, Suzanne begins to suspect that Candace is real, causing conflict in her relationship with Michael.
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This made-for-television horror film, starring the always dependable Dina Meyer, was premiered on the HBO subscription channel in America in December 2006. It was made by the film production arm of the Lifetime Movie Network. Television movies are all too often dismissed, quite possibly because they are typically assumed to be aimed specifically at a female audience, but the production values are usually high and there is just something almost comforting about them.
‘Imaginary Playmate’ is not exceptional by any stretch of the imagination. It is formulaic and the revelations, as they occur in the story, are easy to guess long before they happen. There isn’t much suspense and the film follows an obvious route, but it is done with some degree of skill that makes it a perfectly enjoyable 90 minutes.
Review posted 24 February 2009
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Rating 2½
Directed by Stephen T Kay
Written by Nancy Fichman, Jennifer Hoppe and Mark Kruger
Starring Anne Heche, Jonathan LaPaglia, Chris Sarandon, Kathleen Quinlan, David Andrews, Eva Longoria, Kate Jennings Grant, Gary Grubbs and Leigh Jones
Set in New Orleans, Emily Parker (Anne Heche, also one of the film’s producers) meets Billy Hytner (Jonathan LaPaglia) and they soon become engaged. Billy buys her an unusual antique engagement ring; a ring her friend Jeanie (Eva Longoria) claims gives off a bad vibe. Emily begins to have visions of a ghostly female figure and learns that the ring had once belonged to Marie Salinger (Leigh Jones), a young woman who disappeared years earlier. Marie’s finance Paul Hamlin (Chris Sarandon) was suspected of murdering her, but apart from her severed engagement ring finger, her body was never found.
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This 2004 made-for-television film follows an immediately recognisable tried and tested formula. It resembles Sam Raimi’s infinitely superior ‘The Gift’, a film that was co-written by Billy Bob Thornton. However, unlike Cate Blanchett’s character in that film, Emily Parker does not possess previously identified psychic abilities.
The film suffers from some very irritating editing, for which the director Stephen T Kay must take responsibility. However, it has a decent cast and taken for what it is, it is perfectly watchable, if derivative and ultimately rather run of the mill. I would happily watch it again.
Kay had previously directed the horrendously misguided remake of ‘Get Carter’ and went on to make ‘Boogeyman’, a low-budget horror for Sam Raimi’s Ghost House Pictures production company.
‘The Dead Will Tell’ is based on an alleged true story told by the medium James Van Praagh, who is also one of the executive producers. Praagh is a co-executive producer of the successful CBS network television series ‘Ghost Whisperer’, which is now in its fourth season and attracts up to ten million viewers a week.
Review posted 21 February 2009
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Rating impossible
Directed by George Mendeluk
Written by Brooke Durham and Jacob Eskander
Starring Lochlyn Munro, Dina Meyer, Emily Tennant, Mackenzie Gray and Donnelly Rhodes
A cryptographer unwittingly unleashes the Sphinx, a creature from Egyptian mythology, which then kills him. It is left to his estranged son Robert (Lochlyn Munro), the granddaughter he never met, Karen (Emily Tennant), and his son’s former lover, Jessica (Dina Meyer), to avert an apocalyptic plague by solving a series of riddles, while passing through portals found on the sites of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World into sacred chambers existing in parallel dimensions.
This film was made for broadcast on the Sci-Fi Channel. Lochlyn Munro plays a kind of bargain bin version of Indiana Jones and Dina Meyer is, as one fan review I read put it, “Laura Croft’s hot aunt.” It is a mix of ‘The Mummy’, ‘Stargate’ and ‘Indiana Jones’, seemingly made on a budget that probably would not buy a sandwich from the location caterers of one of those films. I have no idea what the production budget was, but it is tempting to surmise that they still had change left over from a ten-dollar bill once the shoot was completed. This is the most hilariously bad film I have seen in a very long time, although that is not to say it was not enjoyable in its own preposterous way. It is not exactly so bad it’s good – more like, so bad it has to be seen to be believed.
The special effects, provided by the same company responsible for the new big-budget FOX network show ‘Fringe’, are minimal in the extreme. Clearly, the budget did not stretch far enough to allow for proper effects to be added. When various characters are battling the Sphinx, the creature is usually out of the shot, leaving the actor to fight nothing. Our heroes fly across the globe in a small jet airplane, which appears to carry enough fuel to fly any distance, no matter how far, but they never seem to actually land or take off, and each location bears no resemblance to the real thing. Olympia in Greece is a wet and wintry place (somewhat akin to the region of British Columbia where it was filmed, in fact) and the Giza Plateau turns out to be some kind of disused quarry!
The riddles are simplistic beyond belief and the supposedly deadly traps set in the various chambers they visit are so easily thwarted that they really should have been blindfolded at the time, just to even things up a bit. Although Robert is supposed to be, like his father before him, a genius with considerable knowledge of the ancient world, it seems to be his teenage daughter who makes several of the deductions required to continue the journey, apparently by using what appears to be a portable games console.
It is tempting to wonder what Dina Meyer did wrong for her career to have come to this, but in fact these kinds of films seem to be her stock in trade. Lochlyn Munro, like Meyer, might also be wondering what he ever did to deserve such a fate, although I cannot help but think of him as a kind of new Doug McClure. Emily Tennant was young Daphne in ‘Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed’ and had small roles in ‘I Robot’, ‘Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants’ and ‘Juno’.
‘Riddles of the Sphinx’ is laughably silly, but it is fun. I generally like films with this kind of theme and this one stars Dina Meyer, which is a plus. It is rubbish, but I am sure I could happily watch it again sometime.
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Rating 3½
Directed by Enrique Urbizu
Written by Enrique Urbizu and Jorge Arenillas
Starring Goya Toledo, Nerea Inchausti, Eduard Farelo, Mark Ullod, José María Pou and Aitor Mazo
Estrella (Nerea Inchausti) is a young girl with a vivid imagination and an insatiable appetite for reading gothic novels and horror stories. Her mother Angela (Goya Toledo) is a nurse whose working hours means her daughter is often alone in their apartment. Estrella is bright, but she shies away from making friends, instead creating her own network of imaginary companions, monsters from the various books she reads and the horror films she secretly watches when her mother is working. Her imaginary friends protect her, but one of them, “Vampire” (Eduard Farelo), seems to be taking it one step further and encroaching into the real world.
‘Adivina quién soy’ (‘A Real Friend’) is part of ‘Películas para no dormir’ (‘Six Films To Keep You Awake’), a series of six horror films made for Spanish television in 2006. The film deals with the blur between reality and imagination in the mind of a child and the potential impact, both positive and negative, of the stimulus of fiction and non-fiction, both written and visual. It also questions the role and responsibility of parents, asking us to decide how much they should encourage flights of fancy and tolerate extremes of imagination, as well as how much duty of care they have towards children in their absence.
The film is a surreal mixture of drama, humour and horror. In one scene Leatherface, one of Estrella’s imaginary friends, is sat next to her in school, clearly bored by the class and restless. In another scene, Estrella spies her mother having sex with the apartment building’s security man up against a wall in the underground car park, refusing to talk to her afterwards, throwing a tantrum, but not saying what is wrong.
As the film progresses there seems to be stories within stories within stories, almost like a Russian doll, as Estrella’s fantasies become increasingly blurred and mixed in with real life.
This is the second film in the ‘Películas para no dormir’ series I have seen, following on from ‘Para entrar a vivir’, and like that film, I was very impressed. It’s an unusual and interesting premise, executed in an original way. I highly recommend it.
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Rating 2
Directed by Peter Manus
Written by T S Cook
Starring Kal Weber, Elizabeth Healey, Mark Ramsey, Jessica Reavis and Tom Wopat
When millions of ants swarm in an island in Southeast Asia killing local inhabitants a team from ‘Thorax Industries’ is sent in to kill the insects and contain the situation. However, the ants display hitherto unheard of levels of intelligent behaviour and, as is eventually discovered, have created a kind of computer technology and are able to communicate with their human antagonists. They hold a young girl hostage and demand the island for their own.
I am at a loss to know what to say about this inexplicable made-for-television film. It comes from RHI Entertainment, a production company previously known as Hallmark Entertainment that specialises in films and miniseries for cable television channels. It churns out huge amounts of product.
‘The Hive’ is a kind of mix of ‘The X Files’, ‘Starship Troopers’, ‘Predator’ and ‘Ghostbusters’ - with a dash of 'Twister' for good measure. The Thorax team, a bunch entomologists who speed around the island in Hummers and act like Rambo, use space-age lasers to kill and control the ants. The original threat seems to have emanated from the apparently unobserved arrival of extraterrestrials. Neither of these things is ever explained and the film otherwise plays as a kind of commentary on ecological disasters. In the end, the message seems to be that if all else fails, America can always be relied on to nuke the bastards!
The story zips along at a breakneck pace, which is probably just as well because it’s complete hogwash and the dialogue is often laughably stilted. The script comes courtesy of T S Cook, who was once nominated for an Academy Award as one of the writers of the late 1970s film classic ‘The China Syndrome’.
The acting is largely on a par with the script. Pointing the finger at individual actors is perhaps unfair, but Mark Ramsey and Jessica Reavis are particularly wooden. Kal Weber and Elizabeth Healey fare a little better, but they do have the benefit of slightly more substantial roles to work with. The best-known actor here is Tom Wopat, now looking a lot more grizzled than he did back in the days when he played Luke Duke in ‘The Dukes of Hazzard’.
It is pointless being too critical of a film like this. It’s bunkum, but it’s harmless and it’s almost enjoyable in a ludicrous kind of way.
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San Francisco prepares for what should be a spectacular meteor shower speeding across the night sky. Astro-physicist Dr Michelle Young is angry when her estranged husband Tom forgets to collect their two teenage children, Kara and Jason, to bring them to see the display. However, instead of the spectacular display everyone was expecting, this is the first of a series of deadly meteor storms that threatens to destroy San Francisco and wipe out the population. Michelle and Tom have to put their difference aside to work with the US Military to find a solution – and rescue their kids.
Michael Trucco, who starred in ‘Battlestar Gallactica, which I have never seen a single episode of, is the all-action hero here. We know this because he wears a leather jacket and rides around on a Harley. When he is not riding the Harley he is driving around in a Hummer. He rescues a pregnant woman from an overturned vehicle just seconds before it blows up. He rescues his wife from a downed helicopter – just seconds before it blows up. He rescues his children, who are trapped in an elevator, and his daughter’s boyfriend, who is sick and trapped in an apartment, just moments before the entire building collapses. However, to show that he’s only human, he fails to save his wife’s sister, who is driving across the Golden Gate Bridge when it is hit and destroyed by a meteor storm. As it happens, something that is conveniently overlooked, she would probably have safely got to the other side had it not been for Michelle calling her on her cell-phone while she was driving and screaming at her to get off the bridge, something that caused her to crash.
