Square Pegs

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Rating 2


Created by Anne Beatts

Starring Sarah Jessica Parker (Patty Greene), Amy Linker (Lauren Hutchinson), Merritt Butrick (Johnny Slash), John Femia (Marshall Blechtman), Tracy Nelson (Jennifer DiNuccio), Jami Gertz (Muffy Tepperman), Claudette Wells (LaDonna Fredericks), Jon Caliri (Vinnie Pasetta), Steven Peterman (Ron Donovan), Catlin Adams (Ms Loomis) and Basil Hoffman (Principal Dingleman)

EP1 ‘Pilot’ (Written by Anne Beatts, Directed by Kim Friedman); EP2 ‘A Cafeteria Life’ (Written by Janis Hirsch, Directed by Kim Friedman); EP3 ‘Pac Man Fever’ (Written by Marjorie Gross, Directed by Terry Hughes); EP4 ‘Square Pigskins’ (Written by Andy Borowitz, Directed by Kim Friedman); EP5 ‘Halloween XII’ (Written by Marjorie Gross, Directed by Terry Hughes); EP6 ‘A Simple Attachment’ (Written by David Felton, Directed by Terry Hughes); EP7 ‘Weemaweegate’ (Written by Chris Miller, Directed by Kim Friedman); EP8 ‘Open 24 Hours’ (Written by Deanne Stillman, Directed by Kim Friedman); EP9 ‘Muffy’s Bat Mitzvah’ (Written by Margaret Oberman, Directed by Kim Friedman); EP10 ‘Hardly Working’ (Written by Andy Borowitz, Directed by Terry Hughes); EP11 & 12 ‘Child’s Christmas at Weemawee: Parts 1 & 2’ (Written by Marjorie Gross, Directed by Terry Hughes); EP13 ‘It’s All How You See Things’ (Written by Janis Hirsch, Directed by Kim Friedman); EP14 ‘Merry Pranksters’ (Written by Deanne Stillman, Directed by Kim Friedman and James Nasella); EP15 ‘It’s Academical’ (Written by Andy Borowitz, Directed by Terry Hughes); EP16 ‘The Stepanowicz Papers’ (Written by Susan Silver, Directed by Terry Hughes); EP17 ‘To Serve Weemawee All My Days’ (Written by Andy Borowitz, Directed by Kim Friedman); EP18 ‘No Substitutions’ (Written by Andy Borowitz, directed by Kim Friedman); EP19 ‘No Joy in Weemawee’ (Written by Marjorie Gross, Directed by James Nasella); EP20 ‘The Arrangement’ (Written by Anne Beatts, Directed by Craig Richard Nelson)


Lauren Hutchinson decides that the way she and her friend Patty Greene will become popular in their freshman year at Weemawee High School is to join the right clique, but her schemes to increase their popularity invariably go wrong and they remain misfits. Their best friends are a couple of geeks, Marshall Blechtman and Johnny Slash – Johnny is obsessed by New Wave music and has his own band, Open 24 Hours. Jennifer DiNuccio is the cool girl, Vinnie Pasetta is her greaser boyfriend and LaDonna Fredericks is her best friend. Muffy Tepperman is the head of the pep squad.

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‘Square Pegs’ was a short-lived comedy television series that was broadcast on the CBS Network for one season of twenty episodes between 27 September 1982 and 7 March 1983 in a timeslot vacated by ‘M*A*S*H*’. It was well received by television critics at the time as an authentic depiction of American teenage high school life. It could perhaps be best described as the missing link between ‘Happy Days’ and ‘Freaks and Geeks’. The Wikipedia entry for the series indicates that drug use on the set was a factor in its early demise, although I don’t know if there is any substance to this suggestion.

The series was created by Anne Beatts, who had been a writer and performer on ‘Saturday Night Live’ during its initial golden era between 1975 and 1980 and prior to that was the first female editor on the National Lampoon. She now teaches screenwriting at the University of Southern California. The series provided breakthrough roles for Jami Gertz (‘Still Standing’), Tracy Nelson (‘Father Dowling Mysteries’) and most notably Sarah Jessica Parker. Bill Murray guest stars in one episode and John Densmore, the drummer with The Doors, rather bizarrely appears in two episodes as the drummer with Open 24 Hours. There are also appearances by The Waitresses, who wrote the memorable theme song, and Devo. Merritt Butrick, who played Johnny Slash and also featured in two Star Trek films, ‘The Wrath of Khan’ and ‘The Search for Spock’, died in 1989 at the age of 29.

Amongst the writing team, Janis Hirsch went on to write for ‘Murphy Brown’, ‘Frasier’, ‘8 Simple Rules’ and ‘Will and Grace’, Marjorie Gross went on to write for ‘Seinfeld’ and Andy Borowitz was the co-creator and one of the main writers of ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’.

I watched ‘Square Pegs’ when it was shown on British television at the time and I loved it. The appearances by The Waitresses and Devo, two favourite bands of mine then and now, undoubtedly helped. The series back then, as I recall it after these past 26 years, seemed very fresh and almost subversive, so I was very excited to learn that it was to be released on DVD in May 2008. Does it still stand up? The answer is no, although the removal of the irritating, unnecessary and often inappropriate fake laughter track would be a big improvement and it should be noted the most of the songs featured in the original episodes have been removed for the DVD release, presumably for licensing reasons. These songs were an intrinsic feature of the series and their absence does rob it of much of its “New Wave” flavour.

American television has moved on a long way since the early 1980s and like ‘Happy Days’ before it, ‘Square Pegs’ seems almost banal now. However, that did not stop me really enjoying watching the episodes again after all these years. The influence it seems to have had, co-incidental or otherwise, on subsequent groundbreaking series like ‘My So-Called Life’ and ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ is very evident. As examples, ‘No Substitutions’, the episode guest starring Bill Murray, deals with a supply teacher who stirs up the class. The ‘My So-Called Life’ episode ‘The Substitute’ follows a similar theme. In the episode ‘Hardly Working’ Jennifer’s previously rich father falls on hard times and she is forced to take a part-time job as a waitress in the local diner. A not dissimilar fate befell the equally spoilt character Cordelia Chase in the third season of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’.

I have given ‘Square Pegs’ two stars, which is probably about right now, but for my own renewed viewing pleasure and the very fond memories I have of watching it first time around I would give it five stars.

Review posted 18 December 2009


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Hocus Pocus

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Rating 2


Directed by Kenny Ortega

Written by Mick Garris and Neil Cuthbert, from a story by Mick Garris and David Kirschner

Starring Omri Katz (Max Dennison), Vinessa Shaw (Allison), Thora Birch (Dani Dennison), Bette Midler (Winifred Sanderson), Sarah Jessica Parker (Sarah Sanderson), Kathy Najimy (Mary Sanderson), Sean Murray (Thackary Binx), Jodie Rivera (Emily Binx), Doug Jones (Billy Butcherson), Larry Bagby (Ernie), Tobias Jelinek (Jay), Stephanie Faracy (Jenny Dennison), Charles Rocket (Dave Dennison) and James Marsden (Thackary Binx – voice)


Three hundred years after they are put to death in the town of Salem for draining the lifeforce of a young girl to regain their youth, three evil witches are brought back to life when a virgin lights a black-flame candle in their old house on Halloween. They now have until sunrise to absorb the lifeforce of more children or they will return to dust.

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‘Hocus Pocus’ is a 1993 fantasy film with a Halloween theme produced by Walt Disney Pictures and aimed at a family audience, particularly younger viewers. I am usually more than happy to sit down and watch films of this type, despite not being the obvious target audience, but I had not previously seen this one. I am not sure why. Possibly the bad reviews put me off, or it might simply have been the presence of Bette Midler, who I am not especially fond of.

The film never quite works, largely due to the all round awful characterisation and frenetic one-note direction. The three witches are particularly disappointing; they’re simply irritating, portrayed more like ugly sisters in a Christmas pantomime than anything else. One reviewer, Chris Hicks, commented that “their hammy mugging makes the Three Stooges seem downright subtle” and went on to write “the goofy tics each of the lead actresses display... grow quickly tiresome.” The formidable Roger Ebert suggested that it “is a film desperately in need of self discipline” and “of the film’s many problems, the greatest may be that all three witches are thoroughly unpleasant. They don’t have personalities; they have behaviour patterns and decibel levels.”

With a more considered and subtle approach ‘Hocus Pocus’ could have got the mix of fun and scares just about right – the story certainly lends itself to that. In the end, we are left with a film that is not entirely disastrous, but one that should be a whole lot better than it is. It is probably a little too gruesome in places to be entirely suitable for very young children, its most obvious audience.

‘Hocus Pocus’ has a 30% rotten rating at Rotten Tomatoes from 20 reviews. Its domestic gross at the box office was $39.5 million against a production budget estimated to have been in the region of $28 million.

Review posted 15 December 2009


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Mars Attacks!

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Rating 2


Directed by Tim Burton

Written by Jonathan Gems, Tim Buton (uncredited), Scott Alexander (uncredited) and Larry Karaszewski (uncredited)

Starring Jack Nicholson (President Jim Dale; Art Land), Glenn Close (Marsha Dale), Natalie Portman (Taffy Dale), Pierce Brosnan (Professor Donald Kessler), Sarah Jessica Parker (Natalie Lake), Michael J Fox (Jason Stone), Annette Bening (Barbara Land), Jim Brown (Byron Williams), Pam Grier (Louise Williams), Rod Steiger (General Decker), Paul Winfield (Lt General Casey), Martin Short (Jerry Ross), Danny DeVito (Rude Gambler), Luka Haas (Richie Norris), Jack Black (Billy-Glen Norris), Joe Don Baker (Mr Norris), O-Lan Jones (Sue-Ann Norris), Sylvia Sydney (Florence Norris), Christina Applegate (Sharona), Brian Haley (Mitch), Ray J Hammond (Cedric Williams), Brandon Hammond (Neville Williams) and Tom Jones (himself)

A huge fleet of flying saucers from Mars makes its way to Earth. One ship lands in the Nevada desert close to Las Vegas and the Martians announce that they have come in peace. However, when a white dove is release and flies towards them they begin killing the assembled crowd using ray-guns. After further negotiations the incident is put down to a cultural misunderstanding and a Martian ambassador comes to address the United States Congress, but once again the meeting goes horribly wrong.

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‘Mars Attacks!’ is a 1996 spoof sci-fi film, presented up to a point in the style of 1950s monster movies. Directed by Tim Burton, it is based on a 1962 trading card series created by Len Brown and Woody Gelman. 55 cards were produced in the original series, but the graphic depiction of violence caused controversy at the time and the cards quickly went out of production. They were revived in the 1980s. The film attempts an uneasy mix of spoof and homage, recreating the style of 1950s b-moves, but with a blockbuster production budget. Reaction was mixed and it has a 49% rating at Rotten Tomatoes from 55 reviews.

I first watched the film when it came to cinemas in Britain in early 1997. I wanted it to be brilliant, but I came away disappointed. Watching it again now after a gap of more than twelve years, I have come away with exactly the same impression. The film has some inspired moments, but these are outweighed by a myriad of faults. It’s far too campy and self-satisfied; virtually none of the human characters are in anyway interesting. Simply putting a succession of well-known faces on the screen is not enough, although some do fare better than others. Sarah Jessica Parker is quite effective in her role, as flimsy as it is, but Annette Bening is dreadfully miscast and Jack Nicholson is even worse in his secondary role as the ludicrous Las Vegas hotel developer Art Land. The appearance of Tom Jones, playing himself, doesn’t work at all.

‘Mars Attacks!’ grossed just under $38 million at the domestic box office and a total a little in excess of $101 million worldwide. Its production and marketing budget is estimated to have been in the region of $100 million, making it to all intents and purposes a commercial failure, although undoubtedly subsequent television, video and DVD revenue will have helped to redress the balance.

Review posted 14 December 2009


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The Family Stone

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Rating 2¾


Written and directed by Thomas Bezucha

Starring Sarah Jessica Parker (Meredith Morton), Claire Danes (Julie Morton), Dermot Mulroney (Everett Stone), Diane Keaton (Sybil Stone), Craig T Nelson (Kelly Stone), Rachel McAdams (Amy Stone), Luke Wilson (Ben Stone), Tyrone Giordano (Thad Stone), Brian J White (Patrick Thomas), Elizabeth Reaser (Susannah Stone Trousdale), Savannah Stehlin (Elizabeth Trousdale) and Paul Scheinder (Brad Stevenson)


Everett Stone takes his girlfriend Meredith Morton to stay with his family for Christmas. Her somewhat up-tight conservative demeanour clashes with their demonstrative behaviour and bohemian outlook. The family has already been turned against her by Everett’s sister Amy, the only member to have previously met her. Amy makes no attempt to hide her dislike of Meredith and she is joined in this by the mother, Sybil. Meredith feels that she is unwelcome and takes refuge at the local hotel and persuades her sister Julie to join her to give her moral support. As Christmas Eve gives way to Christmas Day, the various accusations and recriminations reach boiling point.

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‘The Family Stone’ was released into cinemas in the US in December 2005 and would appear to have been intended as a kind of throwback to and updating of the screwball comedies of the 1930s. It is not a comedy as such, more a drama with comedic overtones, perhaps vaguely similar to the films of Woody Allen, to a degree. Imagine ‘The Royal Tenenbaums’ with all the quirkiness sucked out of it, replaced by some slightly awkward physical comedy. The film benefits from a very good cast. Sarah Jessica Parker, in particular, is excellent. So are Claire Danes and Rachel McAdams. Parker was nominated for a Golden Globe for her performance.

It is never entirely clear why the Stone family take such an immediate dislike to Meredith, unless we simply assume they are a bunch of hypocritical inverted snobs, which I guess might be the intention. Either that or we are supposed to also react against Meredith because she is not the free spirit they clearly expect any person brought into the family to be. This is apart from Susannah Stone, the older of the two sisters, who is basically a non-character.

Meredith is uptight and a little bit prissy, but she does nothing to deserve the unfriendly way they treat her from the moment she arrives – in spite of a scene later on when the family sit down together for dinner and she makes some embarrassing and questionable comments about homosexuality. They seem to take delight in mocking her and they are so utterly objectionable towards her that even as the story unfolds and individual characters are forced to look at themselves and their actions it is nearly impossible to feel any kind of warmth towards them. Amy is just spiteful and immature, but I found the mother, in particular, quite despicable in her behaviour – and her back-story did nothing to mitigate this, even though I assume we were expected to feel sympathy for her. The film continues in this manner until we reach a kind of wishy-washy final confrontation when truths come out, after which everything is all happy and wrapped up neatly in a ribbon bow.

There is actually a half-decent film hidden in here somewhere. It is done with some degree of expertise and individual scenes are quite effective. The acting is excellent, which is what really holds the film together and makes it watchable. Also, I am a sucker for Christmas films. Perhaps I would have responded more positively to this one had I watched it at Christmas time, rather than on a grey May afternoon.

‘The Family Stone’ received mixed reviews. It has a 52% fresh rating at Rotten Tomatoes from 147 reviews. 77 of these reviews were judged to have been positive and 70 were negative. It had a production budget of $18 million and grossed a very respectable $92 million at the box office.

Review posted 14 May 2009



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Strangers With Candy

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Rating 3½


Directed by Paul Dinello

Written by Amy Sedaris, Stephen Colbert and Paul Dinello

Starring Amy Sedaris, Stephen Colbert, Paul Dinello, Matthew Broderick, Allison Janney, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Elisabeth Harnois, Chris Pratt, Gregory Hollimon, Maria Thayer, Carlo Alban, Dan Hedaya, Joseph Cross, Deborah Rush, Ian Holm and Sarah Jessica Parker


Jerri Blank (Amy Sederis), a 46-year-old drug addict and former prostitute, is released from prison and determines to go back to high school to make up for her lost years, hoping it will stir her father from his 32 year coma. She is befriended by science nerds Tammi (Maria Thayer) and Megawatti (Carlo Alban), but has a nemesis in form of Alpha girl Monica (Elisabeth Harnois). The story plays out against the backdrop of the upcoming Science Fair, which the incompetent and dishonest Principal Blackman (Gregory Hollimon) is determined his school will win, recruiting a ringer, science “genius” Roger Beekman (Matthew Broderick), to ensure it happens.

This bizarre, offbeat comedy started life as a television series on the Comedy Central network, running for three seasons between April 1999 and October 2000. The film version, which had a production budget of just $2 million, premiered at the Sundance Festival in June 2006. It received mixed reviews and has a 52% fresh rating at Rotten Tomatoes.

I was sitting on the fence for the first 10 or 15 minutes, not quite sure what to make of it, but once I was settled into the weird world of Flatpoint High School I found myself constantly laughing out loud. The humour is a bit scatter-shot and not all of it works, but the good stuff outweighs the bits that fall flat. It puts me in mind of a very silly, off-kilter version of ‘Mean Girls’ or ‘Election’. The television series ‘Square Pegs’ also comes to mind.

It certainly won’t be to all tastes, but if you find it funny, you are likely to find it very funny.



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